Hear | Her
Direction, choreography, text & performance: Meredith Glisson
October 2017 - Bushwick Open Studios at Chez Bushwick
At the bottom
what does that feel like?
I woke up today
The sky was semi-dark and looked gloomy
Hopefully this will not be the context that I will be living in
Can I go back and fix it?
Would I do something different?
Some years I don’t want to live again
they were too hard
Thinking of her
how long ago that was
Another life.
Never really getting over it
the oddity of loss
the constant search of something you’ll never find again
It’s in your memory of existence.
It’s not next to me or beside me, so I could touch it
The smell of her scent
Always in my thoughts and deepest feelings
to the core of it
like an apple
spitting out the seeds of her soul
Feeling a bit warm with moments of uneasiness
Headache.
The further I explain the more intense it gets.
Stop observing this feeling it will pass
it’s in your mind
try not to be here
How do I dig myself out of this hole that i’m in?
I’m here at the bottom
waiting to be pulled out.
I stand there with a shovel in hand
guilty as charged
tired.
my legs are still throbbing from last night
all that walking and standing and waiting around
but i can swim over there
plunge into the hole deeper to find that wreckage boat
to cast and set the sails after all this time in order not to get wiped out
to feel the easiness of the breeze again
the birds, the sea mist
remember when she was wake?
what does that feel like?
I woke up today
The sky was semi-dark and looked gloomy
Hopefully this will not be the context that I will be living in
Can I go back and fix it?
Would I do something different?
Some years I don’t want to live again
they were too hard
Thinking of her
how long ago that was
Another life.
Never really getting over it
the oddity of loss
the constant search of something you’ll never find again
It’s in your memory of existence.
It’s not next to me or beside me, so I could touch it
The smell of her scent
Always in my thoughts and deepest feelings
to the core of it
like an apple
spitting out the seeds of her soul
Feeling a bit warm with moments of uneasiness
Headache.
The further I explain the more intense it gets.
Stop observing this feeling it will pass
it’s in your mind
try not to be here
How do I dig myself out of this hole that i’m in?
I’m here at the bottom
waiting to be pulled out.
I stand there with a shovel in hand
guilty as charged
tired.
my legs are still throbbing from last night
all that walking and standing and waiting around
but i can swim over there
plunge into the hole deeper to find that wreckage boat
to cast and set the sails after all this time in order not to get wiped out
to feel the easiness of the breeze again
the birds, the sea mist
remember when she was wake?